Author: Aditya Mallya

Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 6 – ‘Beyond the Wall’ | Review – Citus, Altius, Fortius

Disclaimer: This review contains spoilers, speculation, and sports [North of the Wall, Westeros] A seven-year odyssey has finally come to fruition with the opening of the long-awaited Winter Olympic Games on Sunday. The journey has been long, and often arduous. Notably, the Games’ steering committee has seen a significant shift halfway through the project. Founding Chairman George R R Martin’s increasing struggles with the administrative and logistical burden of the Games have been well-documented, and when it became apparent that Mr. Martin would be unequal to the task of keeping to the event’s unforgiving deadlines, the gentleman seemed to give up all pretense, dropping...

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Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 5 – ‘Eastwatch’ | Review – Kyunki Sansa Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi

Disclaimer: This review contains spoilers and speculation. With secret marriages, planted letters and even a “Bhaiyya, main maa banne waali hoon” moment, this week’s Game of Thrones felt more like the world’s dressiest soap opera than anything else. The lack of major developments, some questionable writing, and the continued and blatant use of unauthorized portkeys combined to make for the weakest episode of Season 7 so far. It was an hour marked by a strong current of silliness, and so I’ve decided to rank each of the characters from this week based on the sheer goofiness of their decisions. I present to...

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Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 4 – ‘The Spoils of War’ | Review – Of Daggers and Dragons

Disclaimer: This review contains spoilers and speculation The latest episode of Game of Thrones leaves the fate of a key player hanging in the balance. As the screen fades to black and the credits roll, we sit back in our chairs, hearts hammering, reeling from shock, wondering – will Star India survive until next week? Or will HBO unleash a storm of swords and litigation on its hapless Indian partner? Stay tuned to find out. My thoughts at this time are with several friends who had the misfortune to be on Facebook when the fire broke out on Friday evening. The scum always rises to the...

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Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 3 – ‘The Queen’s Justice’ | Review – A Misplaced Apostrophe

Disclaimer: This review containers spoilers, as well as speculation about future episodes I must apologize at the outset for the delay in posting this review. I’ve been traveling this week on work, and unlike the characters of our favourite weekly show, I must operate under normal constraints of time and space. Really, has Elon Musk piloted the hyperloop in Westeros? In the time it’s taken the Unsullied and Dothraki to sail from Dragonstone to Casterly Rock, (a) Jon Snow has made the journey from Winterfell to Dragonstone (b) Euron has sailed from King’s Landing to Dragonstone, back to King’s Landing and then to Casterly Rock (c) Jaime Lannister has marched from King’s Landing to Casterly Rock and then back to Highgarden. Even if you were to argue that these timelines line up theoretically, there’s no denying that Game of Thrones would once have taken a season or two for journeys of these length. They’re now regularly being covered in the course of a single episode. The show is treating the spacetime continuum in such a carefree manner that I can’t help but think that any day now, Matthew McConaughey is  going to turn up behind a bookshelf in the Citadel and mumble that love is the secret to defeating the white walkers, Murph. That’s not to say that I dislike the breakneck pace. I can’t help but wonder with glee at the scale...

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Game Of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 2 – ‘Stormborn’ | Review – Smoke on the Water

Disclaimer: This review contains spoilers. Proceed at your own peril Sadly, Taylor Swift didn’t cameo this week as a tavern wench, so there goes my idea for a sequel to last week’s review. (The Seven Kingdoms were going to sing ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’ to each other) Ah well, shake it off. Let’s move around the map of Westeros and see how the various players in the great game fared this week: The Narrow Sea Such dirty tactics on the part of Euron Greyjoy to do this mere days after Dunkirk. We scrape through the German onslaught by the skin of our teeth, and this right after? We never stood a chance. If my memory serves me correctly, Euron’s devastation of Yara’s fleet marks the first naval battle we’ve seen since the Battle of the Blackwater all the way back in Season 2. The show has grown in style and budget since then, so this was a step up – visually at least. From the ominous emergence of Euron’s ship through the fog, to the terrifying sight of Euron himself striding down a giant beam, to the battle sequence lit exclusively with firelight – Stormborn continues Game of Thrones’ tradition of staging the most beautiful and memorable battles in television history.  It may be the Battle of the Grey Joys, but it might as well be called the Battle of the Fiery Sorrows, because the consequences are immense....

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